Relationship Needs Checklist

Gain a greater understanding of if your clients’ emotional needs are being met with our Relationship Needs Checklist.

By Alex King on Aug 2, 2025.

Fact Checked by Ericka Pingol.

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What is a Relationship Needs Checklist?

Relationships are as varied and individual as the people that enter into them. What is a red flag for one person can be a green flag for someone else, and we will all have a different idea of the “perfect” relationship.

Preferences in relationships are also subjective and often change over time as we grow and our life situation evolves. Your preferences for a relationship in your early twenties are likely very different from what you would look for in your forties, fifties, or beyond.

However, most of us can agree that a few aspects of relationships are good ingredients for a healthy relationship. These include communication, empathy, intimacy, respect, and acceptance.

Unlike highly subjective preferences such as physical appearance, religion, or career choice, these are universal values widely accepted and sought after as part of a healthy and emotionally satisfying relationship.

If you're looking to aid your patients in building healthy relationships, you can use a healthy relationship checklist, you can make use of this relationship checklist template. It is a tool for helping individuals recognize signs of a healthy relationship and assess the potential for growth in existing relationships.

Our Relationship Needs Checklist presents twenty relationship needs as a fillable checklist to help your clients assess which needs are being met in their current relationship and which could use some work.

This interactive resource is a great option for couples’ counseling homework, therapy activities, or mindful activities that help your clients reflect on their emotional needs.

Relationship Needs Checklist Template

Relationship Needs Checklist PDF Template

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How does it work?

Step 1: Download the template and provide it to your clients

The first step is to access this template using the link to the free printable Relationship Needs Checklist template provided on this page.

Step 2: Fill out the name and date

Your client should then add their name and the date they completed the Relationship Needs Checklist for record-keeping purposes.

Step 3: Check off which needs your client feels are being met

The most important step is to work through the provided relationship needs and check what your client feels is being met in their current relationship or in the relationship they wish to dive deeper into during your session. Deep conversations can help clients understand which needs are being met and address any underlying issues.

Step 4: Tally up the final score

Once your client has completed the checklist, count up the number of ticks they gave to obtain a final score out of twenty.

Step 5: Add any extra notes

There may be some needs your client wishes to discuss that are not provided on this list, and these can be written in the additional notes section. You can also note any extra comments, context, or thoughts your client has in session with you in this section to identify areas for improvement that can lead to a healthier relationship.

Step 6: Save securely

The last step is to save this checklist securely with the rest of your client's record so it can be accessed in the future. Carepatron's clinical documentation software is a great option for safe and accessible data storage for your clients' counseling records.

What do the results mean?

There are many ways this free Relationship Needs Checklist could look once finished. While there is no absolute interpretation of this checklist due to the subjectivity of emotional needs and what constitutes a strong relationship for your client, here is a simple way to interpret your client's results.

15 or more: A score of 15 or more indicates that most of your client's needs are met by their partner, and only a few need work. That being said, even if many or all of the needs are being met, there may still be therapeutic work to be done. This list is non-exhaustive, and your client may have other unmet needs that indicate a problem despite a high score on this checklist.
10–15: A score of 10 or more indicates that your client feels that most of their needs are being met, but a reasonable number of needs could use some work. Depending on your client's preferences, values, and feelings toward their present relationship, these unmet needs could be a good focal point for future couples' therapy sessions.
5–10: A score of between 5 and 10 means your client feels that many of their needs are unmet. Focusing on the missing needs is a good starting point during therapy sessions.
Less than 5: A score of less than 5 indicates that your client feels that most of their needs are not being met, indicative of the presence of unhappy or unhealthy relationships that must be worked on and addressed.

Commonly asked questions

Relationship Needs Checklists are often used when individuals want to assess and communicate their emotional, physical, and social requirements. This could be at the beginning of a new relationship, before making big decisions in an existing relationship, or reflecting on a past relationship.

This resource works like any other checklist and is scored out of 20. This score can give a rough indication of your client's satisfaction regarding their relationship needs.

While there are commonalities, not everyone has the exact same relationship needs, as individual preferences, values, and priorities can vary. As such, we have tried to focus on this resource's more universal relationship needs and have provided space for further comments to be added if needed.