Self-soothing Techniques

Gain insight into self-soothing techniques and their importance in enhancing clients' emotional balance, reducing anxiety, and managing stress better.

By Gale Alagos on Jun 16, 2025.

Fact Checked by Karina Jimenea.

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What are self-soothing techniques?

Self-soothing techniques are intentional practices and behaviors that individuals use to manage emotional distress and regulate their stress response. Psychology and neuroscience researchers have found that these techniques release oxytocin and activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps calm the mind and body during challenging situations or shocking and unexpected events (Uvnäs-Moberg et al., 2015).

Effective self-soothing behaviors engage multiple sensory pathways, including physical touch, soothing music, pleasant scents, and calming visual stimuli. Common examples include deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, lighting a scented candle, and using stress balls or soft textured objects. Even being hugged reduces cortisol responses, according to a study (Dreisoerner et al., 2021).

More sophisticated approaches might incorporate dialectical behavior therapy elements, emphasizing distress tolerance through practices like focused breathing and positive affirmations.

Whether through short self-massage or a soothing body wash for self-soothing touch, gentle movement exercises like trunk twists, or square breathing patterns, these practices help shift the body's physiological state from stress response to relaxation.

Incorporating pleasant sensory experiences, such as soothing indoor spaces with soft lighting, essential oil diffusers, or calming music, can further enhance the effectiveness and the development of self-soothing skills.

What are the benefits of self-soothing?

The practice of self-soothing provides numerous benefits, particularly in mental health. Through its various techniques, self-soothing encourages active engagement in regulating emotions, significantly contributing to one's mental well-being.

Enhanced emotional understanding

When people engage in self-soothing, they focus on their emotions, learn to identify them, and understand their triggers. This practice allows clients to regain control over their emotional responses, empowering them to become active directors of their emotional lives rather than passive recipients.

Alleviation of stress and anxiety

Self-soothing techniques serve as practical tools for managing and alleviating symptoms of stress and anxiety. As effective strategies, they can help diminish anxiety, fostering a sense of calm and relaxation. By employing these techniques, we can navigate the tumultuous seas of stress more easily and confidently.

Increased resilience

Regularly using these techniques allows clients to manage their responses to stressful events more effectively. It fosters emotional strength, enabling them to become less reactive to external stressors and more proactive in maintaining their inner peace. As clients develop and maintain their self-soothing practices, they cultivate resilience, fostering their ability to bounce back from adversity and effectively cope with future challenges.

Self-soothing empowers individuals to better understand and manage their emotions, mitigate stress and anxiety, and build resilience. It is essential to an individual's mental health toolkit and promotes overall emotional well-being.

10 self-soothing techniques and exercises

Self-soothing techniques are evidence-based practices that help regulate emotional responses and reduce stress. The following techniques are some examples that you can teach clients in your clinical practice.

Deep breathing with square pattern: A foundational technique that involves inhaling slowly for four counts, holding for four, exhaling for four, and holding again for four.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Systematically tensing and releasing muscle groups from toes to head. This method can help reduce muscle tension and improve sleep quality.
Butterfly hug technique: This self-administered bilateral stimulation involves lightly tapping alternate shoulders while focusing on present-moment awareness.
Sensory grounding with five senses: An excellent grounding technique that involves identifying five things that one can see, four they can touch, three they can hear, two they can smell, and one they can taste. This method helps combat brain fog and promotes present-moment awareness.
Warm shower ritual: Take a warm shower followed by applying a soft towel afterward and scented body lotion. Temperature variation can influence the autonomic nervous system positively and help clients feel calm.
Aromatherapy practice: Use an essential oil diffuser or scented candle with calming fragrances like lavender or chamomile. These soothing smells can also help relieve stress.
Soothing sound immersion: Listening to classical music, nature sounds, or a guided meditation track.
Self-massage: A short self-massage focusing on the temples, neck, and shoulders can effectively reduce physical tension and promote relaxation.
Gentle movement series: Incorporating a few simple trunk twists and gentle stretches. This approach helps shift stagnant energy and reduces muscle tension while promoting body awareness.
Positive affirmation practice: Speaking or writing specific, personal positive statements. This practice can alter neural pathways associated with self-assessment.

Different activities will appeal to different people, and what matters most is finding what suits your clients best. Some people may find that physical activities like yoga or tai chi help them the most, while others may prefer quiet, introspective activities like journaling or meditation. Clients may find that different techniques work better for them in different situations. As such, having a range of techniques at their disposal is beneficial.

When incorporated into a routine, these practices can significantly improve their ability to manage stress and anxiety. It is important to remember that these techniques aim not to eliminate stress entirely but to give clients tools to handle it effectively when it arises.

When is it best to practice self-soothing techniques?

The adaptable nature of self-soothing techniques makes them accessible and beneficial to practice at any given time or place. Clients can choose the method that suits their circumstances, but these techniques can significantly improve several situations.

Before sleep

Quality sleep is essential for overall health and well-being. However, many individuals struggle with calming their thoughts at the end of the day, leading to poor sleep quality or insomnia. Practicing self-soothing techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, or guided imagery before bedtime can help create a state of relaxation, calm their mind, and promote better sleep.

When feeling overwhelmed

Life's demands can sometimes be overwhelming, leading to negative emotions and stress. This is another opportune moment to apply self-soothing methods. Techniques such as mindfulness meditation or journaling can help process emotions, regain control, and restore emotional equilibrium.

During health routines

Incorporating self-soothing techniques into one's daily or weekly health routines, such as during or after physical exercise, can heighten the benefits of these activities. For instance, following up a workout session with a short mindfulness exercise can enhance relaxation and recovery.

Moments of personal reflection

Self-soothing exercises can significantly enhance periods of solitude or personal reflection. Techniques like mindful breathing or yoga can help create a peaceful mindset, aiding introspection and personal growth.

Coping with grief or loss

During challenging times of grief or loss, self-soothing techniques can offer comfort, facilitating emotional processing and healing.

The goal is to integrate these self-soothing techniques into their lifestyle so that they become second nature, offering a resource of calm and resilience whenever they need it.

References

Dreisoerner, A., Junker, N. M., Schlotz, W., Heimrich, J., Bloemeke, S., Ditzen, B., & van Dick, R. (2021). Self-soothing touch and being hugged reduce cortisol responses to stress: A randomized controlled trial on stress, physical touch, and social identity. Comprehensive Psychoneuroendocrinology, 8, 100091. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpnec.2021.100091

Uvnäs-Moberg, K., Handlin, L., & Petersson, M. (2015). Self-soothing behaviors with particular reference to oxytocin release induced by non-noxious sensory stimulation. Frontiers in Psychology, 5, 1529. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01529

Commonly asked questions

The most common self-soothing techniques are deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness meditation, yoga, and journaling.

The effectiveness of self-soothing techniques varies from person to person. However, techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and mindfulness are generally considered effective for many people.

Yes, self-soothing is a helpful strategy for managing stress, anxiety, and other emotional distress. It can help calm the mind, regulate emotions, and promote well-being.